8 Reasons Why Nobody Should Ever Visit India

I would like to finally announce that I’m going to be heading back to India this December for a family vacation! It’s been about 13 years since I last visited, and I’m really excited to see how I’ll experience it as an adult. I’ll be there for (only) 10 days, during which time we plan on going up north to Agra and visiting the Taj Mahal. My family will be doing more traveling but I have to get back to work here at home, so I guess I’ll be planning another trip in a couple years time. When I tell people I’m going to India I get mixed reactions; some people are interested and jealous while others seem to shudder. A lot of Westerners feel no desire to venture past Europe into Asia, least of all to India. So what exactly is so great about India? Well, I’ve put together a little list of what makes India not so great.

It can’t be the food. As a Westerner used to a lot of big, meaty dishes, I have no place in my diet for traditional Indian vegetarian cooking. The spices used in the curries, such as turmeric, cumin, and garam masala, are just too much for my palate to handle! Plus there’s no way that the lentil gravy, known as dahl, could possibly be tasty even though everyone in the country eats it! And forget naans; I’m just fine with Wonder Bread.

It definitely can’t be the scenery. Big deal – there’s no way anyone would ever be interested to see the tea plantations in Kerala or the white sand beaches in Goa. Who would be into checking out views of the Himalayas in Shimla?

It can’t be that there’s any good entertainment there. Yeah, I’ve heard of Bollywood, and the fact that they produce many more movies annually than our little Hollywood does, but they probably don’t make too big a deal of it over there. I’m sure I would be super bored all the time with nothing good to watch on TV or at the theater.

When I travel I like to shop! But I can’t see there being anything in India that I’d like to buy. I’m not into their jewelry, such as bangles in every color and 24K gold necklaces and earrings, and I probably wouldn’t buy any of their clothing, such as chunis or salwars. I wouldn’t even know how to put on a sari!

I probably wouldn’t even be able to communicate with anyone as I don’t speak any Indian language. I know that people there speak multiple languages, often including English, but I just can’t take the chance that I wouldn’t be able to talk to anyone.

It would be so annoying to see all the animals everywhere! All of the stray cats and dogs that roam the streets, and not to mention that a cow in the middle of the road can stop traffic because nobody wants to disturb it. I also heard that monkeys just come into the restaurants and steal food right off your plate – that wouldn’t be fun to see at all!

There’s nothing too fascinating about Indian history or culture. So what if there are palaces, military forts, and museums in every major city? What’s so special about the temples? I’d never be interested to learn more about their many religions, either. Tourism in India must be pretty dull, I imagine!

What would I do if something happened to me while I’m there? There’s no way I would trust their medical system – it’s only one of the best in the world but I’d rather be in my own Western country. I’m also going to ignore the fact that many North American doctors are originally from India and got their training there.

See everyone? No reason to ever visit India! What’s all the fuss about?

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